My Daughter's, a series.

 

Blog 16: My Daughters, a Series

I know, as a parent, I’m expected to say my kids are the best. But seriously, they are amazing in every way. I wish I could take credit for their personalities and the way they carry themselves, but so much of who they are comes from their own growth and discovery.

My husband and I have done our best to raise them not to be assholes. One less asshole is everyone’s wish when it comes to raising the leaders of tomorrow. Manners, kindness, compassion—all the things that make us human—are qualities we have truly tried to instill in Inky and Ruth.

Still, it never ceases to amaze me how they think and feel about complicated, grown-up topics. They show empathy for people facing trials they haven’t experienced themselves. They don’t have to live through something to care about the people who do.

They keep up with current affairs and make an effort to understand the world around them. They want to help others, donate, and lend a hand. They express their feelings so eloquently that I wish I’d had that ability at their age.

I can have meaningful conversations with them and walk away feeling fulfilled, heard, and even validated.

I know some may think teenagers shouldn’t have to worry about today’s problems or be concerned with the news. And while I don’t believe they should carry the weight of the world, I do believe that, at 14 and 17, they’re old enough to begin recognizing their power to make a difference in it.

Being a realist has shaped my way of life for so long. Some say that’s a rough way to live, but I’m not without hope. I look at things as they are, consider what they might become, and pray for what I hope will happen.

So maybe I’m a progressive realist?

Our youngest, Inky, is a baker and aspires to be a model. She is also practicing and preparing to study cosmetology so she can support herself while building her modeling portfolio.

Our oldest, Ruth, wants to become a contract animator and is an amazing artist. She has been learning since she was little, watching YouTube tutorials and practicing endlessly. She is a wonderful storyteller and has even inspired Inky to write.

Both of my babies are open and honest. They ask questions. They research things. They don’t take everything at face value.

That makes me feel so proud and confident in the adults they are becoming.

They don’t judge others by superficial things. They care about who people are on the inside. They understand that surrounding themselves with good people will help them build happy, healthy lives.

I guess what I’m saying is that, in so many tiny ways, these girls have shown me they’re preparing to leave the nest.

That is such a bittersweet realization.

But as a parent, I’m relieved and excited about what the future holds for them because I know they’re ready to work for it. I’m also grateful to know they want to share those experiences with me and their wonderful father.

That is a blessing I will never take for granted.

If someone asked me which memories of raising them I treasure most, I would think of us lounging on the couch in the living room, talking and laughing so hard we can’t breathe. The running jokes that seem to have no end, keeping us snorting and pointing at one another as we try to get the next words out.

It’s the middle-of-the-night K-pop concerts and the innocent teasing when the boys in the group pull out some suggestive dance moves. The sly smiles that seem to say, “I can’t believe my mom saw that!” or “Man, he’s cute.”

I love laughing at their reactions, watching them dance, and seeing how much joy they find in the music.

I will always treasure our heart-to-hearts when difficult topics come up and need to be discussed. The fact that they find comfort in coming to us with their concerns is one of the greatest blessings of being their mom.

I believe our bonds can withstand the hard moments because we have worked to build healthy relationships within our family. We keep God first. We pray together and try to live by His teachings. We also understand that faith is a choice, and we support our children as they find their own spiritual paths.

My girls show me such sincere, thoughtful care. I can see the concern in their eyes when I’m in a flare. They validate my symptoms when I’m feeling self-conscious or struggling with what my body can’t do.

Autoimmune diseases and their symptoms can be invisible. My girls understand that what they can’t see can still be very real.

And they carry that understanding into the way they treat others. They care when they see someone suffering.

And oh my gosh, do they love animals.

Currently, Inky is caring for a mama cat who recently had four kittens outside in our garden. She has lovingly named her Winnie and makes sure she is fed every morning and evening.

It’s so endearing to watch.

Now, my kids don’t know I’m writing about them. They might stumble upon this, and they might not. But I hope they always know they are loved, thought of, and wonderful.

Parenting may not be on everyone’s bucket list, and that is completely fine. I believe God has a purpose for each of us, and finding yours is a deeply personal journey. You have to follow your path and discover what brings your life happiness and meaning.

For me, so much of that purpose is in the life I’m living now. Being their mom. Being my husband’s wife. Loving this family we have built together.

And I pray we have raised our girls to know that whatever path they choose, whatever they discover their purpose to be, we will be there every step of the way—loving them, cheering them on, and supporting them as they build lives of their own.